Written by : Joyce Chua
When I was little, my dad decided to change one of the Chinese characters in my name from 秀 to 绣. He said this was to include an extra dose of femininity because I was a complete tomboy. Years later, he’s still calling me a tomboy even though I manage to look legit in the occasional flare dress, so I don’t think the character change made much of a difference.
When I heard of H&M’s new “Ladylike” campaign for its Autumn collection, the first question that came to mind was, “How are they going to define that term?” Because ladylike seems like a loaded word with a multitude of meanings, especially now when we are all about redefining gender boundaries and asserting girl power.
The conventional standard of what it means to be not just a lady, but ladylike in behaviour, has been thoroughly challenged particularly with so many women rising to power in recent years (if you haven’t witnessed how Hillary Clinton coolly roasted the infamous misogynist Donald Trump with aplomb, you need to go see it right now).
Which brings us to the question: what does it mean to be a lady now? For me, strength, grace, courage and poise come to mind. Because despite prevailing attempts to quash the emancipated 21st century female (“like a girl” is still a form of insult? Really??), there’s a new crop of strong, confident women paving new roads and breaking new ground in various fields ranging from medicine to science to gender equality and even fashion.
But that’s just my opinion. Here’s how some other ladies define the word “ladylike”:
“For me, the term ladylike translates to ‘do no harm but take no trouble.’ When I was young, I used to hear from (perhaps not so well meaning teachers and relatives) things like ‘don’t sit like that, it’s not ladylike’ or ‘don’t laugh like that, don’t dress like that, it’s not ladylike’ or ‘doing karate isn’t very ladylike’. When I was younger, these statements would affect me. But I realized that attempting to fit into their narrow sense of what a lady should be like wasn’t very fun after all. I don’t hear such statements very often, but if do, I’d probably laugh it off. I am a lady, so whatever I do — whether it’s reading a book sprawled out on the couch, or dancing along to a catchy music or studying — is ladylike. It’s time we break away from the notion that ladylike is synonymous with demure and prissy. So don’t let anyone bring you down with their words, and if they attempt to, stand up to them in your most ladylike manner.”
~ Sreya Sanyal, Student
“Being a lady means we are free to be who we are, and the strength and radiance that come from within thanks to the empowerment of women. Fashion-wise, Kate Middleton is the epitome of a ladylike-chic! She always looks poised, graceful, and unruffled. “
~ Charlene Liang, Senior Account Manager
“Let’s go beyond the typical, well-bred, prim and proper kind of ladylike. In this day and age, we’re exposed to the strong and independent version of “ladylike”: redefining feminine as more than floral frills and lovely laces. It’s all about being bold, brave and stunning at every moment, from every angle, and with fibre of our being.”
~ April Anne Villena, Digital Marketing Associate
“Being ladylike is to be an unapologetic badass, to break boundaries when required and to fight fiercely for what you believe in. Being ladylike also means having the confidence and drive to do, live, and behave whichever way you want to.”
~ Shahini Shairah, Senior Social Media Executive
“When I think of word ladylike, the image of my grandmother and mother comes to mind: serene and calm, but with amazing mental strength. Being a strong woman means taking care of people with all her heart, making big decisions, being fearless in showing emotions, deriving joy from the simple things in life, never giving up on her dreams and miraculously doing it all.”
~ Mahi Singh, Marketing Manager
What does the word “ladylike” mean to YOU?