Written by Alicia Roxanne

Asking someone out on first date isn’t rocket science. Girls wouldn’t mind getting a free meal and for guys, instead of playing video games with your homies, sitting across a girl eating sushi sounds like a better way to spend a Saturday night, right?

However, the true test of character and compatibility is whether or not there will be a second date. They say it’s all about sparks and chemistry; you can’t force it. But they didn’t say you shouldn’t try to ignite those sparks.

Going all out for your first date doesn’t mean that you are not being yourself. It just means you are altering what your dates thinks of you. Each person has their own story, but not everyone is a naturally great at telling stories. Some people need to practice and work harder than others to make sure that their story is compelling enough for someone to actually listen.

Here are seven tips that will increase your likelihood of scoring a second date:

1. Do Your Research

The first step is the always the hardest: put in too much effort can backfire and you can be mistaken as a creep. But, at the same time, not putting effort can make your date feel unimportant.

The best strategy is to come prepared, but not to over-plan. Leave some room for spontaneity.

Firstly, it is important to where you will be going. It’s best to make reservations for a proper date. But if it’s more casual, start by asking, “Are you craving for anything in particular?” If the person you are asking doesn’t give you a definite answer, this is when your research comes in handy. Say something like, “I know this nice Italian restaurant with a beautiful view. Would you like to give it a shot?”

Second, it is important to know something about your date. Basic things like interests, job, and education are useful things to find out beforehand. Try to think of activities related to their interests — maybe an upcoming soccer game or financial investment workshop.

You’re not interrogating a criminal, so don’t overwhelm them with your knowledge about them. Remember that the purpose of this date is to get to know more about the other party, not to scare them away.

2. Look Presentable

If they say, “dress up for the job that you want, not for the job you have,” I say the same principle applies to dating. It is crucial for you to deliver a better presentation of your usual self if you want to make a good impression.

People are highly subjective when it comes to love, but one thing’s for sure: they want to be with someone who makes them feel good and someone whom they enjoy looking at.

Dressing up for the occasion is one of many ways to make someone feel comfortable — no harm looking easy on the eyes! It is also a way to show respect for your date — you don’t want to seem as though you barely put in any effort, after all!

Look your best in these curated pieces:

3. Listen To Understand, Not Just to Respond

The best conversation happens when you actually listen. As much as you love to talk about yourself, please avoid this on the first date. Don’t talk to them about how bad your week was at work or how horrible your boss is, because nobody needs that kind of negativity on a date!

Remember that the outcome you are hoping for is to get a deeper understanding of your date — their thoughts, values, dreams, etc. When you ask something, really listen to their answers.

I notice that we usually quip, “I totally understand how you feel! I also…” Then they start to make everything about themselves, only with different analogies.

For your date, however, try to suppress this habit. Aim to become someone memorable whom your date would like to confide in, instead of branded as a narcissist.

4. Engage

As you listen, try to be engaging by asking more questions. If you are only listening, people might find you too passive and think you’re not interested.

Be genuinely curious about what it’s like being in their shoes. If you successfully engage, you might find yourself actually having a great conversation. You can definitely talk about yourself, but always try to go back to them, instead of placing the focus all on you.

5. Initiate a Second Meetup

Remember all the research you did at the beginning? This is the part when you can utilize your information. For example, if you are going out with someone who is really interested in ballet, say, “I heard The Nutcracker is showing next week at Esplanade. Do you want to watch it together?”

Or, it can be as simple as telling a guy who wants to make a career switch to banking, “I’ll introduce you to my friend who works at DBS. We can all go for a drink together.” Your goal is to find an excuse to see that person again. You just need to initiate something.

Here’s another trick— pretty sneaky, but sometimes it works. Either one of you can leave your stuff with the person to create the opportunity for another encounter.

For guys, you can perhaps ask the girl if she would like to keep her watch in your bag while you two are eating or lend your jacket to your date and ask her to “return it some other time”. If the girl is into you, she would just play along and pretend to forget the stuff until she arrives home in order to initiate another meet up.

Of course, do this only if you trust the other person with your stuff or if you know they trust you with theirs!

6. Read the Signals Right

Remember the purpose of dating is to determine whether you want to see this as someone whom you can potentially be in a relationship with, or if he belongs in the friend-zone.

For this to happen, you need to be able to read signals. Although it’s not always the case, from your first date you can usually already gauge if your date is interested in meeting up again. If they are interested, they will definitely agree on making future plans with you. But if not, don’t force it. It doesn’t mean your chances have drastically diminished; it just means more work required on your part.

If someone seems uninterested but you still want to get to know them, approach their friends. Try to be more present in group hangouts and leave a strong impression every time. Show that you care, but don’t overdo it. Whether we like it or not, people in general highly value others’ opinion. (This is why we always check a movie’s Rotten Tomatoes rating before watching it.)

7. End On a Good Note

Just like you don’t wait until two hours before the date to check if it’s still on (people like it when they are well informed on their schedule!), follow up after every date too. Make sure you ask your date, “Are you home yet?” and say something like, “I had fun tonight, looking forward to the museum visit with you next Sunday!” It is important to show you care and that you enjoyed the other person’s company.

Do you have any more tips for scoring a second date? Perfect your second date look with ZALORA Singapore— because the right fit leads to a successful date!